Soreen Bacon's Barnacles of Botchilism

Last updated : 27 February 2011 By Soreen Bacon

Kris has been naughty this week, he didn't eat his peas and left his 
clipboard in a very naughty place, he's also been on that internet 
which is the soul of Satan, so I'm doing the column.

As I said to the regulars, the sweets and crisps are at the front, and 
up-front we have that nice boy Facey and that other nice young boy 
Grimes, which is a bit of a dirty word to be honest and I hope he 
covers himself well in Vim.  That Grimes though does have a habit of 
putting that ball in the back of the onion bag, so I'll be sending him 
some of the sweeties and crisps left over.

I get letters from Imps fans asking for advice from time to time so I'm going to open my 'Dear Soreen' letter bag again.

Heres the first one:

"Eeee I can't get tut players to play for me wherever I tut goooo eeeeh"- J S

Dear J S
Don't worry about it, just make sure you have a good tea made by your wife and don't forget the sweets and crisps are at the front.

Anyway must go and get my husbands tea on.  If I'm a minute late he won't eat it and that can never be done.  The thing is if I'm not careful he and Kris might end up on that Internet thing too and that I will never allow, the satanic pornographic thing that it is.  

Don't forget the sweets and crisps are at the front!  Ta ta for now.