Watts In Shocking Revelation

Last updated : 18 January 2010 By Malcolm Dunkley

Adam Watts (left), the big skin headed centre half we signed from Fulham on January 2nd is habouring a secret that could threaten his Imps career - he's ginger.

Photo's from his time at Fulham have emerged clearly showing him with the worst hair colour possible shamelessly displayed on his head.

Fans of The Imps feel cheated at such a shocking attempt to mislead them, as Watts has only ever sported a shaved head. However if he now lets his hair grow he will once again start howling at the moon and smelling faintly of urine.

Glen Quagmire, a fan, said this "Gigigidi gigigidi gigigidi... a Ginger? A gwar? I almost got him to sign my programme the other day. Oh my lord when I imagine it now, a ginger touching something of mine. It repulses me. What if his DNA had got on my things....."

Chris Sutton remained tight lipped on the subject as he always does, and Watts is thought to currently be away with Gingers Anonymous. LCM has managed to find a picture of him as a baby, although there isn't even the slightest suggestion it is him (left).

LCM editor Gary Hutchinson, another ginge, said this: "I shave my head to, to remove the stigma of being a lesser person. I spotted Adam early on as a ginger person, or as we call ourselves 'just the same as everyone else with some funny stuff on our head'. I'm sure he's a lovely guy like me and will learn to carry on regardless."

Rumours that Watts (right, as the heathen he is) also uses foundation to cover his 'permanently embarrased red cheeks like that guy off Eastenders who's doing the vertical tango with Stacey Slater' are at this moment in time unfounded.

The club refused to comment, but it is thought they will now be investing in a seperate changing room and shower for the 'devils child' to utilise so he doesn't infect anyone else.