Cheer up cherubs, this one is spot on if you are in for a match free Tuesdee, be you in the Arsenal Tavern, the Southend United Spread Eagle, the Old Corner Flag at White Hart Lane, or even down Shepherds Bush Bush Bush championing Queens Park Rangers. Now that gaff is posher than Peterborough United run boy Barrow boy Barry Fry.
D'you know, in West London they down mochachinos with a swift shot of Schnapps whilst we Imps polish our horns and Impishly imbibe by swigging back the more traditional pigs ears up and down Steep Hill. Now that and your fill of Bateman’s real ale friends, is a proper pub crawl and a real all day drink.
And remember please drink responsibly – always pay your tab and ensure the younger participents put on their pampers before a 12 pint character building crusade.
Also a bit of advice from our knowledgable, direct but friendly doorman ‘Porridge Disturber Dave’
"I'll 'ave you slearrrgggggz!!!"
Anyway we are here to talk in riddles and I promise yer this football rhyme is gospel geezers and - it’s straight from the north and South of a real life Imp or whatever floats your boat. Yep its another dose of our Chirpy cockerney couple Brushy and Tilly – their not silly and know a filly when they see one. Remember if you shake hands with Brushy best count yer fingers after you’ve bought something. Then again I'd be chechking the bangers and mash in your hand coz I've seen a tenner off him where the queen blinks!
Tilly’s Rhyme Time & Tips 2
Messers Tilly & Brushy, welcome a young apprentice eager to help around Sincil Bank at the crack of dawn into the tilting barber’s chair environment of a League 2 club – close shave anyone?
“Two mugs of Rosey me old son - easy on the acker and a couple of Bourbons if there’s any left after Saturday’s commentary. Yea some chance alright a couple of slices of holey to help it down, and then some Daisies need a shine for sure.
Brushie “We don’t want a cup of Gnats either, make it two heaped Sir Alan’s in both annall or you’ll be doing a Suttun for a week.
The Translation
Two cups of tea, not too much milk and a couple of Mr Ashton’s delicacy - the Bourbon biscuit. Not fancying the odds Stevie T suggests the alternative of two slices of toast before the lad gets to work on the time honoured tradition of cleaning the pros boots.
Although not strictly Rhyme Brushy refers to Gnats - a weakened form of the intended beverage – 2 spoonfuls of Alan Sugar and of course the overriding motivational factor being, a couple of hours running non stop around a field.
Rhyme Time Cockney Key
Rosey Lee – tea ( perhaps related to the Chesterfield keeper)
Acker – Acker Bilk milk
Holey – Holy Ghost Toast.
Daisies – Daisy Roots – boots