Sutton in 'second tone' shocker

Last updated : 18 January 2010 By Malcolm Dunkley

The banal tones of Chris Sutton are of course a refreshing change to the manic & barely audible ranting of the previous manager, but it has today been revelaed that Chris Sutton actually has more than one tone.

The first two or three months of his reign Chris has managed to have the same audio appeal of white noise on the television. Now here at LCM we are not having a go at a manager who is indeed working well to restructure the side.

It appeared when he joined he brought in Ian Pearce incase any emotion may be needed, for instance an exciting tone, or maybe a rant. He proved particularly adept at 'lamping the mouthy git from the Cheltenham bench' which was promising.

However yesterday whilst expalining the origins of cheese sauce (or something like that, to be fair I switched off when Chris started speaking, and began to think about how much fun water torture felt like right then and there) Chris was rolling out his dulcet tone when suddenly his voice cracked a little bit on the word 'we'. It rose to a slightly higher pitched, almost happy sound with the 'e' continuing ever so slightly after it should.

BBC Radio Lincolnshire Michael Hortin managed to pick himself up off the floor and compose himself, but this fleeting glance of emotion was soon lost as Sutton continued on about whatever subject he was making intensely boring.

In other news we really do love Chris Sutton and Ian Pearce and thank them for the job that they are doing, because my good lord we couldn't go on with that one man media machine Jackson anymore, or his cack players.

Below is a picture to illustrate some emotion. Burch here is showing some emotion, and this has clearly perplexed Chris in some way. We're not entirely sure why the lead singer from Rage Against The Machine is in the picture.